I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
