tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
