Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
