so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Quick, to the slutcave!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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