I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
