3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it was like eating out sand paper
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
