I am puke
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
