she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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