those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
