Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.

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  (248): In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary. http://tfl.nu/2umo
  Replies (20) Good night (1398) Bad night (551)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.

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  (305): Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did. http://tfl.nu/lrh7
  Replies (10) Good night (746) Bad night (1500)
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  (925): View more from California

  First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.

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  (925): First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so. http://tfl.nu/lvgi
  Replies (91) Good night (826) Bad night (9877)
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  (310): View more from California

  i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."

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  (310): i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week." http://tfl.nu/whj8
  Replies (86) Good night (20631) Bad night (1693)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.

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  (312): the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building. http://tfl.nu/d9kx
  Replies (29) Good night (4416) Bad night (1563)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can

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  (401): well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can http://tfl.nu/8xnn
  Replies (18) Good night (3035) Bad night (1987)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good

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  (863): I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good http://tfl.nu/hwo6
  Replies (14) Good night (5079) Bad night (1300)
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  (569): View more from

  Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?

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  (569): Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain? http://tfl.nu/hx2h
  Replies (6) Good night (955) Bad night (2133)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.

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  (251): For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso. http://tfl.nu/t5dl
  Replies (2) Good night (1408) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.

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  (618): I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up. http://tfl.nu/sv5z
  Replies (4) Good night (1745) Bad night (1401)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.

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  (423): I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex. http://tfl.nu/g9ms
  Replies (6) Good night (1519) Bad night (621)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown

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  (715): begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown http://tfl.nu/xg0v
  Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.

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  (717): went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won. http://tfl.nu/zieh
  Replies (1) Good night (541) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!

  (708): View more from Illinois

  who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?

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  (773): the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway! (708): who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day? http://tfl.nu/tfp4
  Replies (9) Good night (424) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'

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  (201): well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler' http://tfl.nu/wfeh
  Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (471)

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