so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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