I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend