playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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