It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
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just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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