That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
