I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
