Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
