My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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