..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
