I want to make a zoo with you.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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