Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
