yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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