Just fell off a train. Bad.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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