Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize