everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
