you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
