i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
