Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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