Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
