You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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