she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
