Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
