Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
