somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
only you would photoshop your dick
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
