I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
