Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
