And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
