I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
