This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
