4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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