when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
