You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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