I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
