I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
