Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
