And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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