Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
