I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
