just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
