she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
