What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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