you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
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I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
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The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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