He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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