Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize