That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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