I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize