Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
