we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think I died a long time ago.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
