this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
